There is a bathroom located in this cafe. Please take a few moments now to locate the bathroom. In some cases, the bathroom may be behind you. If you are seated next to the bathroom, we will ask you to keep track of whether the bathroom is occupied in the event that someone else tries to open the door. If you do not wish to perform these functions, please do not ask anyone to be reseated because obviously the rest of the cafe is full up if you’re sitting next to the bathroom.
…but that doesn’t make it less fabulous.
Apparently, Microsoft made a product called Songsmith, which is supposed to provide musical backing to sung lyrics. The promotional video was even more cringe worthy than the Windows 7 launch party videos.
It actually does the job pretty well, but the musical quality is, well, designed by Microsoft. Here are some of my favorite Songsmith covers of popular songs.
In movies involving a bad guy who is some kind of intelligence agent, there is always a scene in NSA headquarters where the boss tells a technician to enhance a photo of our protagonist. Doing so reveals the face of the protagonist’s girlfriend. The boss barks to his number 2 a list of minutiae that he needs to know about the woman by tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I want to know everything about her. Everyone she’s ever known. Everywhere she’s ever lived. Every book she’s ever read. Her second grade teacher’s name. Her brand of toothpaste. Which side of the bed she sleeps on. Her favorite music. Does she eat her pretzels with mustard? etc.
Then, many scenes later, number two comes back with a profile. But everything he then tells his boss, the audience already knows, except for one crucial detail, which when she eventually tells the protagonist will probably lead to them having sex.
My question is, whatever happened to that minutiae. Does the boss actually not find out what side of the bed she sleeps on? Or are intelligence agency bosses all bullshitting hyperbolaters, and their minions know it?
Besides, how did he get to be a high ranked intelligence agent in the first place without figuring out how to evaluate useful information from useless information?
This is all much more psychologically comfortable.
It has just occurred to me how weird the US Postal Service is. It can’t get more analog, can it?
Lookit, if I want to send you a letter, I can type it up, put it in an envelope, then write your name and address on the envelope. I just write it on there with my hand. Then, I stick it in a box on the street! Eventually, it makes its way to a post office where a person reads the envelope with their eyes. Then that person makes a decision based on what I wrote on that envelope with my hand. Then that envelope gets sent to your house.
And this happens with millions of letters like this a day! How does something like this stil exist!?
From Language Log
Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday (via TheOnion)
This is pretty sweet.
KESHA + STAR WARS Tik Tok Music Video Spoof! (via teddiefilms)
